Impersonal sadness is the sign of love. Such sadness is sadness for all, is the union of wisdom and compassion. One has reached out of one's skin and touched the skin of worlds.
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'sadness' derives etymologically from a word meaning 'seriousness'
seems illuminating this relationship between 'sad' and 'serious'
for many years, until recently, I lived with sadness I think partly for I came up in a serious environment ~ being alive is first-and-foremost a very-serious-matter
so, I became well-acquainted early with gloom and gravity
I wish not to blame, however, as though assigning fault, and some of this likely related to a predisposition to depression ~ environments, natural and collective, tend to accent or not biological propensities
even after healing from depression, which I suffered in childhood into my third decade, and living a wisdom path of Grace for many years
I recognized, finally, I was living with a palpable melancholic cloud hovering over me
that is how it felt, hovering over me, for I did not personally feel sadness ~ this sadness was more like present, but non-attached, impersonal, a left-over hanging around from the past
so, this relationship with sadness was, "sadness was ever-present, I could not be said to be sad"
we likely all know the look of thick fog, early morning then, with the Sun shining, the fog slowly transforms
there being nothing substantial about fog, water vapor in origin, water vapor after sunshine heats the air to a certain degrees
yet, fog was present, literally a cloud in contact with the ground made of small water drops condensed on particles in the air
this is the movement of Creating the action of Grace expressing in form to form - transformation
so, nothing is lost in this trans-formation only change to change occurs
this melancholic cloud attached to me like the fog, was form, that form transformed into another form
where did the fog go? the fog inheres in the prior pre-form and post-form
so, this foggy cloud of sadness 'left' and I cannot locate the time that it was gone ("transformed")
like the fog-cloud hanging on to air particles there is no one moment to locate transformation ~ transformation is a process
there was, however, a single moment ~ after it was gone, long after ~ when recognition arose that sadness no longer was hovering over me
transformation occurred for many reasons, I am sure, one an intentional path of transformation
another ingredient in the transformation process was accepting kindly the presence of the sadness
as I wrote, recently, here Love transforms into Love
I recognized the sadness, did not judge it as weak or wrong, and did not feel impaired due to it being around
likewise, I did not try to understand the whys of why the melancholy cloud was ever-present ~ I did not see it as a 'problem' to be overcome, an 'enemy' to vanquish
indeed, I am neither better nor worse, now that the sadness is not present
I share this, to urge again, regarding the path of loving embrace being healing
in embracing our 'brokenness' we find a new relationship with ourselves, suffering, the past
we do not indulge in this brokenness ~ that is neurotic, selfish ~ we accept, we have compassion for ourselves, and this leads to compassion for all beings suffering, human and otherwise
in holding near, in Grace, our own suffering we hold near the suffering of the world
for, really, as example, 'my' sadness was not 'mine' sadness is impersonal, is the same sadness anyone feels, is universal
now, sadness arises at times, with me and that is fine, and like fog, it goes
sadness and gladness come and go when the causes and conditions are present
what does not come and go is Grace, and all the Good, True, and Beautiful of Life ~ Grace only gives Grace ~ "Thankfully!"
If asked, "So, sadness once hanged around, what now?" "Thank You!" ~ Life is received as Gift
*Brian K. Wilcox. Nov. 2018
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*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2023. Permission given to use photographs and writings with credit given to copyright owner.
*Brian's book is An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love. The book is a collection of poems Brian wrote based on wisdom traditions, predominantly Christian, Buddhist, and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
